So much to do and so little time

I find today's title extremely fitting to what has been on my mind lately. I'm stressed out with trying to cope with everything at once: Finding my under-graduate project while writing my bachelor project... And then there's everything else. As usually I've been coping by spending all my time playing computer games - Icewind Dale II. This, in turn, makes me feel guilty because I'm not studying - which makes me even more depressed and drives me to spend even more hours in front of the screen... It is indeed a vicious cycle!This evening I went with my parents to the circus. There was this guy who was just so agile. He could bend his body into these extreme positions. It was wild! It made me want to be able to do that! When that train of thoughts started off, it couldn't be stopped. Eventually it led me to the conclusion that exactly that kind of thinking is my defeat. I strive to be good at so many different things because I am devoted to so different areas and in the end this makes me mediocre at everything because I never lose myself completely to one thing. I will never be able to do what that guy did at the circus today - and it is my own fault. I could if I really wanted to. But, too bad for me, I want to be good at drawing, dancing, writing... I want to look pretty, be fit... I want to be like Lara Croft in Tomb Raider and at the same time I want to be a brilliant scientist in biochemistry... I want to study my subject but I also want to be a computergame designer... A special effect person or one who works at Pixar making animated movie... I want to write my own music and play all the instruments... I want to be a doctor... I want to take care of animals and I want to have a boyfriend and eventually a family with white picket fence and all... And at the same time I want to win the Nobel price for the cure for cancer... I want to see every country in the world... I want to be healthy and live a long life... But I still want to drink beverages and eat ice cream... I want to do so many things, which are at the opposite ends of the spectra and I can never make up my mind. That is my main flaw. I truly believe it is.I could argue now that it is just a result of me not knowing myself and not knowing what I want to do - but it's not like that. I know what I want to do - it just doesn't make any sense at all. Well, maybe it isn't so bad afterall - maybe I'm just a complex person ;o)